God's Plan

Well, hi again guys. As usual, I'll write it with half english and half bahasa. It's fair huh?! you guys who talks english can understand what am I talkin about, dan lo yang ga paham bahasa Inggris juga bisa baca ini. Oke guys, here we go!

Kadang, kita atau dalam hal ini gue suka menanyakan tentang hidup gue dan rencana Tuhan, kenapa, apa, harusnya dan Siapa. 4 kata itu terlalu sering memenuhi otak gue yang udah overload ini.

Kenapa itu terjadi sama gue?

Kenapa gue bisa ngalamin hal ini?

Kenapa gue ga bisa kaya gitu?

Kenapa ga kaya rencana gue?

Dan masih banyak kata kenapa yang ada di dalem otak gue begitu gue menemui hal yang ga sama dengan rencana dan kemauan gue.

Not only why, sometimes I also ask what in my life. And I often I ask it to God.

What's wrong with my life?

What's the matter with God so God can do this to me?

What kind of problem is it?

Dan ketika gue menemukan rencana dan impian gue hancur gitu aja, gue akan berpikir

Harusnya, gue melakukan ini

Harusnya gue ga gitu

Harusnya gue lebih hati-hati

Harusnya gue lebih berani

Dan harusnya yang lain, padahal gue tau kalo semua udah diatur sama Tuhan, tapi gue hampir lupa hal itu. Gue ga melupakan. Hanya aja gue hampir lupa. Gue hanya memikirkan rencana yang gue susun tanpa memikirkan apakan itu baik buat gue apa ga. Gue selalu menanyakan nasib tanpa gue tau itu cocok atau engga buat gue.

And when I didn't have the answer yet, I just yellin, How could this happen to me? Sometimes I realize how pathetic I am, but I just take a breath deep and thinking. And you know, believe it or not, I get the answer of my questions. God is really kind to me.

The simple example is about my university. I damnly wanna go to a great university in Indonesia. And I try to catch it without know the mean of "tired" without seen word "sorry from them every I taken the result of the test. I done 8 tests for it, and they just wrote "sorry" for my result.

And when I read sorry for the last time. I yelled, What's my fault? How could God do this to me? I just wanna make my parents happy and make my father keep his mouth cause he always underestimate me in all situation.

Dan gue pun dapet jawabannya kenapa itu terjadi sama gue.

Salah satu temen gue ngomong kalo jurusan yang gue ambil 1 tahun lalu adalah jurusan paling susah. Masuknya gampang banget, tapi untuk bertahan di dalem situ jauh lebih susah daripada nyangkul di sawah seluas 8 hektar.

Gue pun bersyukur dengan hal itu.

Dan di kampus gue yang sekarang, ada beberapa anak yang pindah dari kapus itu karena ga kuat. Mereka bilang, kampus itu ngebunuh mereka pelan-pelan dan mereka terancam minimal DO atau maksimal gila dan bunuh diri kalo mereka bertahan disitu.

Separah itu kah?

Ya gue ga tau persisnya kaya apa, tapi begitulah pengakuan orang-orang di sekitar gue. Maka, udah sepatutnya gue bersyukur karena Tuhan ga membiarkan gue membusuk di dalem kampus itu.

Dan masih banyak hal lain yang membuat gue bersyukur atas apa yang udah dikasih sama Tuhan gue. Tuhan baik sekali. Dan saya buruk sekali.
Berangsur-angsur pertanyaan gue atas rencana Tuhan terhadap diri gue pun hilang karena udah mendapat jawaban yang amat sangat pas.

Guys, have you ever asked bout your life?? And did you find the answer??

Just believe that God love you, more than you love yourself. God just wanna make you learn about life, and God just wanna make you to be a good person. Be good guys, because God's plan is always good for you. And if you ask why, so find your own answer, God will give it after you search it.

I realize, I am not good at all. I have many minus attitude, I have many mistakes, but I always learn how to repair myself like God wanna. God made it to me because of God's love for me. I love God, and God must love me too *kepedean*

Be Good