Philophobia and I

What's philophobia?? And why I'm going to write this one?? Alright then, first I wanna tell you what's philophobia mean?? Philophobia is phobia of love. Someone who suffer this disease usually fear for being of love. Usually they think hunderd times for being in love. People who got this phobia have multiple reason about their fearness. So, what's the relation of this phobia with me?

Well, I guess I got philophobia. Cause I fell afraid and lil bit paranoid when I adore a boy. I'm afraid they'll hurt me and they'll leave alone in these condition And I don't wanna make it come true. Well I'm not sure since when I got this phobia. But I guess I got it since I broke up with my ex. And I try so hard to let him go. And since that occurence, I don't wanna fall in love with any boy. That's not mean I'm a lesbian. That's mean I'm philophobia, but I'm normal.

Philophobia may heal and the suspects may comin through. But as a suspect, I feel not easy to comin through. Philophobia doesn't head off my activities, it doesn't head off my live. But I feel uncomfortable when my friend ask me : hey do you have a boyfriend? and I answer : no. I don't think bout it. I guess I got Philophobia. And usually they'll said :Are you crazy or something? better you go to psychiartist. Or some of them said : You didn't get philophobia. You just not ready yet to open your heart with another boy. Just try to open it.

For girls in the same age with me, They can't live without her boy. But I'm sure I can live with or without boy. Even I got this philophobia and I can live without bout and I can't live without my cat. Philophobia won't kill me. But it will make my love story slower than other and have different story with a girl who doesn't feel it.

I don't when I'll coming through, but I try to get up and open my heart to another boy. But not now, I open it when I'm ready